MNF P.S.: Nov. 30, 2010

Chucky called out Arizona QB Derek Anderson for laughing on the sideline when his team is down 24-7. He wants it to “bother” Anderson. Didn’t like seeing the QB yukking it up on the sideline. The sound quality of this link leaves a little to be desired, but you get the gist of what’s going on.

Just a couple of points. Yeah, I get Gruden’s point, not the best of form. And personally, if I were in Anderson’s shoes, I’d lean more toward a Brady-esque rant imploring my teammates to step up. At the same time, who knows what Anderson was talking about? Maybe he was trying to buck his team up with humor. Maybe it was disbelief, like, “Man, this is just an ol’ fashioned butt-kicking.” Then again, maybe it was ,”Two dudes walk into a bar …” We don’t know. And Gruden certainly didn’t know. Had Anderson been moping or hanging his head on the sideline or, I don’t know, throwing portions of his uniform into the stands, then Gruden still would have found fault with his comportment.

Of course, Gruden wasn’t the only one who noticed (thanks, no doubt, to Jumbotron). Here’s the post-game press conference. Make your own judgment:

Monday Night Football: Nov. 29, 2010

If San Francisco and Arizona held a football game … would anybody watch? We’re about to find out. Well, at least the first half, here on the East Coast. Here goes a stab at live-blogging the first half. This is only a test:

Pre-game: Jaws, Chucky and Mike begin the lovefest.

Jaws: (speaking about Larry Fitzgerald) — “We’re going to have fun breaking him down tonight.” Ewwwwww.

Personally, I think Bocephus has jumped the shark. I’d rather see Faith Hill.

1ST QTR: Arizona’s black jerseys aren’t working. And neither is Arizona’s defense. OK, that was just the first play, but already Gruden has this: “Arizona’s defense continues to give up big plays.” Continues? It’s the first play for God’s sake!

3rd & 15 for SF — QB reads the defense, sees the 7 DBs and OF COURSE calls a run play with Frank Gore. Only four on the line, why not? Good call. Smart call. To Jaws, however, it was “Unbelievable!” In a good way, of course.

11:14 — Jaws criticizes a QB for the first time (Mr. 58% career completions).

9:42 — Jaws: “You. Just. Can’t. Make. These kinds of mistakes at the NFL level, or at any level.” Well, apparently, you can when hit Crabtree in the back of the end zone on the very next play.

WOO HOO! Lee Ermey’s Geico commercial. (I must admit, though, I prefer those dang woodchucks chucking wood.)

5:06 — Cliche alert! Tirico, on an Arizona offsides call, “Free play.” It’s not a “free” play. It’s just a play, Mike. SF has the option to decline it.

5:04 — the Troy Smith Love Fest begins, courtesy of Jaws. After Making A Mistake You Cannot Make in the NFL, he has been “outstanding” on routine down-and-out completions.

:09 — “Outstanding” #2 from Jaws. That’s outstanding.

2ND QTR: Early Doucet, formerly of Ole Miss, gets hammered in the open field. Just thought I’d mention that. (Shut up, State fans. Your RB just did the worst end zone belly flop ever, even if he did score.)

13:15 — YAWN.

12:12 — Jaws notes that 24% of Troy Smith’s passes are at or behind the line of scrimmage. So “obviously, screen passes are big  part of that.” Yes, obviously, Jaws.

10:30 — oh this should be good. Game break and Wingo discusses the big fight yesterday.  Pithy comments from the booth crew?

10:28 — Nope.

9:30 — Now Jaws is calling Troy Smith “very effective.” “So far, so good for Troy Smith.”

7:38 — Is it just me or is it damn near impossible to tell Jaws’ voice from Chucky’s?

7:23 — Nice penis drawing with the telestrator,  Jaws/Chucky.

6:16 — “Outstanding” #3 from Jaws. Did he just call FITZGERALD “not the most gifted athletically”?

4:45 — Gruden jumps on the “Outstanding” bandwagon.

3:05 — The “not most gifted athletically” (NMGA) Fitzgerald makes an acrobatic catch in the end zone.

2:18 — “You get that ball in open space, you gotta make something happen.” Duh.

2:10 — booth shot! Gruden in full-on Chucky mode.

2:00 — in-game rant by your blog host. Is there anything more stupid than the two-minute warning in the first half? I mean, really, is there ANYBODY in the stadium who is NOT aware that there are only two minutes left in the half? I kinda like it at the end the game because it’s a faux timeout, but a warning that a boring-ass halftime show is coming up in two minutes is ridiculous.  Back from the break, Tirico reminds us that tonight’s venue, University of Phoenix stadium will be familiar to the Patriots and the Giants because of their Super Bowl here. That’s great, but neither the Giants nor the Patriots are playing tonight. And Jaws squeezes in “Outstanding” #4.

OK, well, that was thrilling, in an outstanding way. Maybe next week we’ll get the Bills-Lions.

Unbelievably amazing: Nov. 29, 2010

Or amazingly unbelievable. Not the tip-drill interception, but the fact that this ridiculous, if not impossible, interception yesterday by Oklahoma State’s Broderick Brown managed to get covered without the use of the most overused word in America today: amazing. That truly is, well, you know.

“This is something you do when you’re clowning around playing in the back yard.” Nice.

And since it’s Monday, that means … dang. Three and a half hours of Ron Jaworski, aka, Mr. Quarterback. Break out the chapstick and wait for the QB Flavor of the Week Love Fest to begin! “Jaws” should change his nickname to “Lips.” He and Gruden can compare Super Bowl rings … oops. Only one of those gents has one.

This kid … Nov. 28, 2010

What’s worse than dropping five passes in a game against the Steelers? Talking about yourself (albeit briefly) in the third person, apparently.

Rivalry Weekend: Nov. 27, 2010

Full disclosure up front: I’m an Ole Miss alumni and Rebel supporter. That means I hate Mississippi State. If you’re the kind of namby-pamby that can say to your most bitter rival, “Good game, you deserved to win,” after losing to said rival, then you probably are the same kind of “good sport” that helps an opposing player to his feet after he gets de-cleated. I got no use for you.

Ok, now that that’s out of the way, onto football.

I love rivalry weekend, even those lesser games outside the SEC. There’s always something special about Ole Miss-Miss. State, Alabama-Auburn, USC-Notre Dame, Florida-Florida State, Michigan-Ohio State, etc. You’re jacked up enough watching your school take on the hated rival, but, boy, when you spend as much time yelling at the announcer as you do the coach/quarterback/referee/other team’s coach/other team/other school’s fans, something’s seriously wrong.

Today’s culprit was former Jets coach (read: not professional broadcaster) Herm Edwards, who, along with Clay Martvich, called — or attempted to — the Ole Miss-Miss. State game.

Now I got nothing against Herm. He’s a good coach, knows a lot about football and how to win games. But a commentator he is not. He should be introduced before every game as “Capt. Obvious,” with such searing insights as “the Ole Miss defense has to play defensively.” And how many times can a man repeat himself in the span of four seconds? “You gotta tell him, keep that receiver in bounds. He’s gotta stay inbounds. He can’t go out of bounds. Gotta stay inbounds.” It took me more than four seconds to type that, yet Herm spouted it in Olympic-speed time. And he did it over and over for 3+ hours. I almost put the TV on mute. I felt sorry for Clay. You could almost hear him thinking, “I’m going to kill the producer that put me in the booth with this guy.”

Watching Ole Miss lose was excruciating enough. To be stuck with Herm Edwards for the entire game was a torture right up there with waterboarding.