Who doesn’t love birthdays? Ok, well, a lot of people don’t, but when the nation has a birthday, most people get a day off and all 50 million of them head to the beach at the same time. Not yours truly. I’ll be on my deck grilling various cuts of meat and watching as much as baseball as the teevee will allow. Which, lately, hasn’t been much, unless you count interleague games (which I don’t). Around the DC area, the good news is thatthe Nationals are finally (finally, finally) a .500 team — and that’s cause for celebration. Unfortunately, the Nats commentators are still well below average. They make the WGN crew seem erudite. So, most of my baseball this weekend will be watched with a finger on the mute button.
Speaking of baseball, did you know there was such a thing as Class A baseball in Canada? Of course you didn’t. That’s what I’m here for. The Vancouver Canadians, a Toronto Blue Jays affiliate (natch), have put together a nifty little parody commercial. The parody? Their take on “Major League.” Those wacky Canadians, eh? And speaking of “Major League,” none other than ESPN’s “Mike and Mike in the Morning” discussed Charlie Sheen’s supposed steroid use while filming “Major League” and expressed, essentially, the same thing I did yesterday — who cares?
Man oh man, guys, there is probably a lesson to learn here. For reasons unfathomable, a love letter (well, that’s Yahoo is calling it; it’s more like a teenageboyangst letter) from Michael Jordan to a high school girlfriend has surfaced. And this passes for news. The lesson may be never NEVER commit to paper anything even remotely resembling a human emotion lest it go viral 30 years later. Of course, that lesson may also only apply if you are responsible for six NBA championships, changed the way your sport is played, have more than God and have/are one of the most recognizable brands in the world.
Finally, I’m going to try something new. Following a lengthy debate with a co-worker after reading a Consumer Reports piece that declared In N Out Burger as the best burger around (I disagree), I decided to conduct my own research (see poll below). Vote early, vote often.
By now, you’ve heard that Charlie Sheen has made yet another revelation about his drug-addled past. In an interview with Sports Illustrated, he details his use of steroids as he labored through his role as Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughan in the still-funny Major League. It’s an interesting read, more so because I learned that (a) former Dodgers all-star catcher Steve Yeager provided a great deal of technical advice during the movie and (b) many of Tom Berenger’s scenes in the “tools of ignorance” were in fact Yeager. But I have to admit I’m a little dubious of the steroids revelation. First of all (and all this really falls into the “Who Really Cares?” category), did Sheen really think he needed six weeks’ worth of steroids (by his own admission) to play the part better? I know he loves baseball (and can hit — there’s a YouTube video of him belting one over the fence at Dodger Stadium) and wanted to look the part. But ‘roids? Second, how convenient that Sheen, not exactly on a lot of people’s Christmas card list these days, only now makes it known — a few weeks after the furor over “Two and a Half Men” has all but gone away. What better to get back on the radar than to combine a track record of drug use, Hollywood and the MLB steroid scandal? Call me jaded, but it just makes me wonder.
At Wrigley Field, the fans have a tradition of returning home run balls, which I always enjoy — but only in Wrigley, not when some lame copycat in, say, Seattle, tries to act original and throw the ball back. As Sean Connery said in “The Untouchables,” that’s the Chicago way. This kid, however, has no business in the stands. He ought to be in right field.
Next, this is much ado about nothing, really: Last fall, Broughton (N.C.) High quarterback Will Cooper set a state football record with a 600-yards passing game. Last fall. Today, after exhaustive (and unnecessary?) analysis, naysayers are claiming that the total should be reduced by 15 yards, because six of the plays originally logged as pass plays were, in fact, rushes. The new total only ties the state record. The full story is here, but, really, does this even matter? A 600-yard game, regardless of the pass/rush combination is pretty impressive. Who needs the nitpicking?
Ever wonder what playing basketball would feel like when you’re stoned? Probably this.
At last, the truth about life after the Olympics. Mary Lou Retton talks about hip replacements and parenting. And she’s 43.
And because it’s never inappropriate to discuss football, even Canadian football, even preseason Canadian football, this clip of Stu Foord getting de-cleated is worth a look.
Finally, this is just too funny. Leave it to the MLB network to really make something out of nothing. In an incident that was only barely worthy of a highlight (and only because of its humor), the MLB crew not only holds forth on the importance of a bull pen pitcher “owning his ground,” they set up a demonstration that didn’t quite work out the way Harold Reynolds thought it would.
MLB pitcher Chan Ho Park (38)
Champ/movie star Mike Tyson (45)