Rivalry Weekend: Nov. 27, 2010


Full disclosure up front: I’m an Ole Miss alumni and Rebel supporter. That means I hate Mississippi State. If you’re the kind of namby-pamby that can say to your most bitter rival, “Good game, you deserved to win,” after losing to said rival, then you probably are the same kind of “good sport” that helps an opposing player to his feet after he gets de-cleated. I got no use for you.

Ok, now that that’s out of the way, onto football.

I love rivalry weekend, even those lesser games outside the SEC. There’s always something special about Ole Miss-Miss. State, Alabama-Auburn, USC-Notre Dame, Florida-Florida State, Michigan-Ohio State, etc. You’re jacked up enough watching your school take on the hated rival, but, boy, when you spend as much time yelling at the announcer as you do the coach/quarterback/referee/other team’s coach/other team/other school’s fans, something’s seriously wrong.

Today’s culprit was former Jets coach (read: not professional broadcaster) Herm Edwards, who, along with Clay Martvich, called — or attempted to — the Ole Miss-Miss. State game.

Now I got nothing against Herm. He’s a good coach, knows a lot about football and how to win games. But a commentator he is not. He should be introduced before every game as “Capt. Obvious,” with such searing insights as “the Ole Miss defense has to play defensively.” And how many times can a man repeat himself in the span of four seconds? “You gotta tell him, keep that receiver in bounds. He’s gotta stay inbounds. He can’t go out of bounds. Gotta stay inbounds.” It took me more than four seconds to type that, yet Herm spouted it in Olympic-speed time. And he did it over and over for 3+ hours. I almost put the TV on mute. I felt sorry for Clay. You could almost hear him thinking, “I’m going to kill the producer that put me in the booth with this guy.”

Watching Ole Miss lose was excruciating enough. To be stuck with Herm Edwards for the entire game was a torture right up there with waterboarding.

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