Monday Night Football: Nov. 29, 2010

If San Francisco and Arizona held a football game … would anybody watch? We’re about to find out. Well, at least the first half, here on the East Coast. Here goes a stab at live-blogging the first half. This is only a test:

Pre-game: Jaws, Chucky and Mike begin the lovefest.

Jaws: (speaking about Larry Fitzgerald) — “We’re going to have fun breaking him down tonight.” Ewwwwww.

Personally, I think Bocephus has jumped the shark. I’d rather see Faith Hill.

1ST QTR: Arizona’s black jerseys aren’t working. And neither is Arizona’s defense. OK, that was just the first play, but already Gruden has this: “Arizona’s defense continues to give up big plays.” Continues? It’s the first play for God’s sake!

3rd & 15 for SF — QB reads the defense, sees the 7 DBs and OF COURSE calls a run play with Frank Gore. Only four on the line, why not? Good call. Smart call. To Jaws, however, it was “Unbelievable!” In a good way, of course.

11:14 — Jaws criticizes a QB for the first time (Mr. 58% career completions).

9:42 — Jaws: “You. Just. Can’t. Make. These kinds of mistakes at the NFL level, or at any level.” Well, apparently, you can when hit Crabtree in the back of the end zone on the very next play.

WOO HOO! Lee Ermey’s Geico commercial. (I must admit, though, I prefer those dang woodchucks chucking wood.)

5:06 — Cliche alert! Tirico, on an Arizona offsides call, “Free play.” It’s not a “free” play. It’s just a play, Mike. SF has the option to decline it.

5:04 — the Troy Smith Love Fest begins, courtesy of Jaws. After Making A Mistake You Cannot Make in the NFL, he has been “outstanding” on routine down-and-out completions.

:09 — “Outstanding” #2 from Jaws. That’s outstanding.

2ND QTR: Early Doucet, formerly of Ole Miss, gets hammered in the open field. Just thought I’d mention that. (Shut up, State fans. Your RB just did the worst end zone belly flop ever, even if he did score.)

13:15 — YAWN.

12:12 — Jaws notes that 24% of Troy Smith’s passes are at or behind the line of scrimmage. So “obviously, screen passes are big  part of that.” Yes, obviously, Jaws.

10:30 — oh this should be good. Game break and Wingo discusses the big fight yesterday.  Pithy comments from the booth crew?

10:28 — Nope.

9:30 — Now Jaws is calling Troy Smith “very effective.” “So far, so good for Troy Smith.”

7:38 — Is it just me or is it damn near impossible to tell Jaws’ voice from Chucky’s?

7:23 — Nice penis drawing with the telestrator,  Jaws/Chucky.

6:16 — “Outstanding” #3 from Jaws. Did he just call FITZGERALD “not the most gifted athletically”?

4:45 — Gruden jumps on the “Outstanding” bandwagon.

3:05 — The “not most gifted athletically” (NMGA) Fitzgerald makes an acrobatic catch in the end zone.

2:18 — “You get that ball in open space, you gotta make something happen.” Duh.

2:10 — booth shot! Gruden in full-on Chucky mode.

2:00 — in-game rant by your blog host. Is there anything more stupid than the two-minute warning in the first half? I mean, really, is there ANYBODY in the stadium who is NOT aware that there are only two minutes left in the half? I kinda like it at the end the game because it’s a faux timeout, but a warning that a boring-ass halftime show is coming up in two minutes is ridiculous.  Back from the break, Tirico reminds us that tonight’s venue, University of Phoenix stadium will be familiar to the Patriots and the Giants because of their Super Bowl here. That’s great, but neither the Giants nor the Patriots are playing tonight. And Jaws squeezes in “Outstanding” #4.

OK, well, that was thrilling, in an outstanding way. Maybe next week we’ll get the Bills-Lions.

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